Image by 愚木混株 Cdd20 from Pixabay Q: How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb? A: Only one psychotherapist, but the light bulb has to really want to change. My mother, of blessed memory, used to chuckle at that lame little joke. She was a complex and deeply wounded person, so naturally, … Continue reading Their Wounds Are Not Ours To Heal

Image by Stefan Schweihofer from Pixabay So … I did a reel that has caught some traction on Facebook. You can watch it here. Reels are short by definition, so they don’t really allow for the development of thoughts in any depth. I mentioned the concept of unconditional positive regard (UPR), as formulated by the … Continue reading Unconditional Positive Regard and Boundaries

Antifa Action Lately I’ve been hearing a few influencers talking about how you shouldn’t be anti anything - you should be pro the things that you support, but being anti is reactive, bad energy, etc. Step into your power and be PRO things, but don’t be anti. I’d like to clarify my stance on this, … Continue reading Anti … what?

Image by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay Catchy title, don’t you think? Authenticity is all the buzz these days. I think it really emerged during the early days of the pandemic, when people finally had the leisure to consider their lives and whether they brought them the kind of joy and peace they desired. Living an inauthentic … Continue reading Free to be Me in 2023

Image by ivabalk from Pixabay When we think everything has to be perfect, when we fear the judgment of others because we inevitably fail to make everything perfect, we are causing ourselves (and possibly others) unnecessary suffering. It’s a well known trauma response - something bad happened, I felt hurt and helpless, maybe if I … Continue reading Why Perfectionism Sucks

Image by Evgeni Tcherkasski from Pixabay This week is Hanukkah - the Festival of Lights. While it is not “the Jewish Christmas”, being largely inflated out of proportion by its calendar proximity to the major holiday of the dominant culture, it does have its own importance. In particular, it has to do with the concept … Continue reading Light and Fear

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay Lately I’ve been listening to/reading Dr. Gabor Maté’s new book, The Myth of Normal. It’s a large, wide-ranging tome, with the subtitle Trauma, Illness & Healing in a Toxic Culture. If you’ve been following me at all, you know that I have lately been very concerned with intersectionality - … Continue reading What is Healing?

Image by Tumisu from Pixabay The Oxford dictionary defines community as follows:  com·mu·ni·ty /kəˈmyo͞onədē/ Noun a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common."the scientific community"a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals."the sense of community that organized religion can … Continue reading What Does Community Mean to You?

Image by Russell Dean from Pixabay The American poet Walt Whitman has been haunting me lately. Everywhere I go, I seem to be running into the most famous quote from his Song of Myself, from the collection Leaves of Grass.  Do I contradict myself?Very well then I contradict myself,(I am large, I contain multitudes.) The … Continue reading I Contain Multitudes. How About You?

Image by HeungSoon from Pixabay Part of the process of becoming a mature adult is developing the ability to see nuances and shades of grey - understanding that few problems have a simple, black and white answer. As adolescents we are sure that the world would be much better if everyone just did things our … Continue reading Are You Looking for a Magic Bullet?