If you are anything like me, you like to set goals and chase after them. There’s a lot to be said for setting a plan, choosing a course of action and putting in the time, leading to the satisfaction of seeing results. Consistency of action is a major component of this process, of course – if you don’t do the work every day, whether you are aiming to be a musician, an athlete, a business owner, or just a decent human being, you aren’t going to get very far.

Sometimes, however, we run into conflicting priorities, and then it becomes a matter of deciding what is really important to us. It can be an illuminating process, trying to decide what our true values are – you can’t just go along with what other people tell you is important, you have to decide for yourself.

As an example, during a recent Jewish holiday we read in the Torah that the Sabbath, or day of rest, is so important, we should keep it “in the plowing time and in the harvest time”. 

In an agricultural society, life and death depended on getting the plowing and harvesting done in time. Even nowadays, with all the modern technology that we have, farmers tend to work extremely hard during harvest time – it’s unlikely that too many of them are downing all tools for a period of 25 hours each week. And yet, that is what the Torah is saying that we should do, even in our busiest times. 

Even in less dramatic situations, we are likely to run into conflicting demands. How do you deal with them? This is where it becomes crucial to be clear on our own values. 

For many of us, family is of supreme importance – if you are being asked to work so much that you never see your children, is that in conflict with your values? How long will you be able to do this before you burn out? How do you decide whether the desired result is worth the sacrifice?

Many of us say that integrity is a major value for us – but how many of us would be willing to take a stand and become a whistleblower, with everything that that entails, when we see things going on at work that we know are not honest? It’s so much easier to pretend we haven’t noticed, but does that eat away at our self-image? How do we feel about ourselves when we do that?

Dealing with conflicting priorities is one of the hardest parts of being an adult. I would love to know how you decide in situations like that – drop me a comment and let me know!