Catchy title, don’t you think? Authenticity is all the buzz these days. I think it really emerged during the early days of the pandemic, when people finally had the leisure to consider their lives and whether they brought them the kind of joy and peace they desired. Living an inauthentic life is very stressful, and now there is an entire industry devoted to helping people find themselves and live a more authentic life. Nirvana cannot be far off!

I’m being somewhat facetious, of course. This industry has always existed – as a certified life coach, I know that there is great value in helping people become aware of their blocks and their suppressed emotions and feelings. There’s no question in my mind that this suppression is a source of much of what ails us in our personal lives, from emotional dysregulation to chronic illness. 

Being able to be authentic and express our true feelings and needs is in many ways a privilege – it requires a certain amount of personal power and autonomy. Young children are entirely dependent on their caregivers, so they must adapt their behaviour to what is required of them, or risk neglect and abandonment. Older children and adults may find themselves in situations where they do not feel safe, emotionally or even physically, in expressing their true feelings. That can be the result of larger societal structures (poverty, misogyny, ableist, homophobic and transphobic laws), which are beyond the ability of the individual to change, at least immediately.

Currently, our culture celebrates “coming out” – especially when it’s a celebrity athlete or entertainer declaring themselves publicly to be different from their carefully cultivated image. Certainly in the case of male-coded sports stars, it is likely to happen after they have retired from their active careers, and no longer fear the retaliation of the locker room. Openly gay or trans athletes are likely to be expending more of their energy on fighting for acceptance than they are in building their sport.

Of course, there’s more to authenticity than one’s gender or sexual preferences. There is quite a narrow range of expressed emotions that is acceptable for a cisgender, white, abled, Christian person in Western society, and that range is even more constrained for anyone who does not check off every one of those boxes. It can be an act of real courage to step outside that range, and the consequences can be dire, in terms of one’s success, financial security and health. In some circumstances, those consequences might even be imprisonment or death.

This might appear to be an argument for toeing the line, always – in fact, it’s just an assessment of the risks that can be attached to speaking one’s truth. There is much to be gained from that truth – it’s a great relief no longer to be always hiding and walking on eggshells. There are many stories of improved health, both mental and physical, once people started living in a more authentic manner. Just a reminder that that is a privilege that is not available to all. If you have that kind of privilege, remember to be grateful, and if you can use your power for good, all the better.

Finally, happy new year! I hope you celebrated safely, and I wish you and yours a warm, wonderful, healthy, happy, authentic and successful 2023.