The world is full of people who don’t want to have the hard conversations – either because they shy away from any possibility of conflict, or because they are so rigid in their convictions that they don’t want any chance they might have to change their minds.

Last May I took a course with an organisation called Resetting The Table – a group that trains people in how to have hard conversations, to run towards the heat, and to listen to people you disagree with and see their humanity. 

The hardest part, for me, is in learning to see things through the eyes of the other, to understand where they are coming from, even if you disagree. We are taught to ask questions for meaning, to learn what people actually mean when they use certain trigger words (it is often a surprise!). Then we are taught to attempt to hit the bullseye – to reflect back to them, without repeating what they said, the gist of what seems to be important to them. It is quite amazing how people’s eyes light up when they feel heard and understood – even without agreement.

Spending time in cafes talking with people has been some of the most important work I have ever done.

The last few weeks have been eventful for me – talking with Palestinians, talking with other Jews, talking with Christian allies, working on an event in which we will be listening to each other as we tell our stories of grief and hope. Stay tuned for information on that!

When we can see each other as humans, miracles can happen. Let’s keep listening.