You have heard me mention Gabby Bernstein many times – I love her books, her videos and her decks of cards. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you know that I pull a card from one of her decks every day, and share it on social media. I didn’t do it during the holiday, but this morning’s card was the one you see here. How appropriate for the Festival of Freedom!
The fear of what others may think of us is a very primal one – back in the dawn of humanity, being kicked out of our tribe was a death sentence. So the opinions of others had to be very important to us. Nowadays, though, we are not in danger of being eaten by sabretooth tigers if we don’t stay by our original campfire. It’s OK to go out and find another campfire that suits us better. This may ruffle a few feathers – but does that matter?
The inimitable Brené Brown once described taking a tiny piece of paper, maybe 1 inch by 1 inch, and writing down on it all the people whose opinions on her life and choices really mattered to her. All the other critics could be safely ignored, because they had not earned the right to her attention.
When you are as much of a public figure as she is, or as many people inadvertently become online, it’s important to understand that opinions are like rear ends – everyone has one, and most of them stink. It is really not necessary to give any kind of attention to people who have not earned it, by demonstrating that they truly care about you and your wellbeing. Even if you have not had the misfortune of encountering trolls online, you may still find that others think they have a right to an opinion about your life and your choices. But do you have to pay attention to them?
Choose to let go of caring about the opinions of others – and you will be free. If you find yourself having a hard time doing that, you need to ask yourself where that comes from. What power are you granting to these others – and do they deserve it?
If so, a conversation may be in order, to explain yourself, if you so desire.
If not, then in the immortal words of Queen Elsa, let it go. You can truly become free in one step.