You know that feeling. You’re trying to do something, and it seems like you are being prevented at every turn. As you try different things, new obstacles keep coming up. You feel like taking an innocent electric guitar and smashing it really loudly.

You start feeling hot and bothered, your kids and spouse take cover, and the world seems to be closing in on you. It’s like tunnel vision.

Does that sound familiar?

Take a deep breath.

Part of the problem might actually be lack of oxygen to your brain, because you are hyperventilating without realising it. Take another deep breath, hold for a count of 4, then exhale for a count of 4.

Do that a couple of times.

Now look at the situation again. What about it is in your control, and what isn’t?

If you are being frustrated by technology, try taking a break and walking away from it for a while. Refresh your brain by doing something else. You might come back and see the solution, or think of someone who might be willing to help you. In any case, the technology doesn’t care how upset you are, so try to relax and treat it as a puzzle to be solved, not a personal affront.

If the source of your anguish is another human, remind yourself that we all have autonomy, which means the other person is under no obligation to behave in ways that you like. Can you have a reasonable conversation about what is bothering you, and see if they are willing to accommodate? Chances are that will be more effective than screaming like a banshee.

Do you need to go for a walk to cool down? Removing yourself from a frustrating situation, if at all possible, can often provide you with the space to breathe, bring your logical brain back into the emotional situation, and look for a solution.

If it seems that your reaction is consistently out of proportion to the problem, sometimes working with a coach or therapist can be helpful in sorting out the real thoughts behind the frustration. That might be the best investment you can make.