Change is hard.

That’s the story we tell ourselves.

We get all comfortable with the way we’ve always done things, even when we aren’t happy with the results of the way we’ve always done things. The devil you know, and all that. We are comfortably miserable. We give ourselves lots of excuses about why we can’t change, even though we don’t like who we are.

I’m going to make an admission that is difficult for someone who makes her living in health and wellness.

In this past year, thanks to the pandemic and other stresses, I’ve put on more weight than I ever have before, except when I was pregnant. It’s enough to make me really uncomfortable in my body. The things that worked to release excess weight in the past are not working, now that I’m almost 60 years old and my hormones are different. It’s upsetting.

Thankfully, I have a holistic nutritionist who gives me the straight goods. She could see that what I was doing was not working. She told me what I needed to do to fix it. I really don’t want to. I’m comfortable with my routine. I like the things that I like. 

So now, I can choose to continue being someone who is uncomfortable in her body, or I can make changes that I don’t want to make. I can continue to hide my head in the sand and pretend not to see what I’m seeing, or I can take a clear-eyed look at myself, and make changes. 

The choice is entirely up to me, and that’s what makes it so beautiful and difficult. I can’t blame anyone else. Yes, there’s a pandemic. Yes, my gym was closed for four months. Yes, I’m post-menopausal. Yes, all the things. So what? Nobody is in charge of what goes in my mouth, how much I sleep and how much (and how) I exercise, except me. It’s called being a grown-up.

So now I am learning to tell myself a different story. Yes, change is hard, and building new routines and eating different things is not comfortable. It’s OK. It’s all about the story – and now the story is about taking my destiny in my own hands, and making choices that are better for the version of me that exists right now, not the person I was three years ago. 

It’s about taking the time to learn why I resort to self-sabotage, and how I can avoid doing that. Does that ring any bells?

I’m looking forward to sharing this journey with you – I hope you will help me stay accountable. Would you like to walk this path with me?