Statistics show that only 8% of people keep the resolutions that they have made in the beginning of the year. Why is that? And if you are one of the 92%, what can you do to quit being a statistic and start being true to your word to yourself?
Most New Year’s resolutions have to do with personal improvement – people resolve to lose weight, get more exercise, quit smoking, save more money, or spend more time with family and friends.
These are all good things, why would we quit on them before the month is over?
It has a lot to do with our self-talk, that incessant monkey chatter that goes on in our minds during most of our waking hours. For most of us, it’s a very critical voice.
It’s amazing how mean we can be to ourselves, and it is so much of a habit that we hardly notice. We would never dream of speaking to anyone else the way we speak to ourselves. We call ourselves names, we doubt our abilities, and we tell ourselves stories about how we can never achieve anything.
It’s a miracle that any resolution can last a week under these conditions, let alone a year. So what can we do about it?
I’ve recently been delving into the work of Noah St. John, who has made a career out of teaching people to change their self-talk. Interestingly, he advocates using questions rather than affirmations, since our minds naturally like to answer questions. Why is the sky blue? Who was that actor in that movie from 1982? The monkeys go scurrying around.
The first question that we need to ask ourselves about any resolution is WHY. As Simon Sinek says, it starts with WHY, and then we can move on to WHAT and HOW. If we don’t know why we are doing something, we will quit at the first obstacle.
If you are looking to reduce some belly fat, for example, you need to ask yourself why you want to do this. Uncomfortable clothes and an appearance in the mirror we don’t like will only take us so far – as soon as that pain eases somewhat, we fall back into our old habits. We need to have a stronger why, and to build that why, we need to ask better questions.
Here’s one you might want to consider. Who suffers if you fail? In other words, if you neglect your health, like my mother did, who will suffer from the consequences? Not just you – for many of us, especially women, taking care of ourselves for ourselves is not a strong enough motivation. But what about the people that you love?
My children have grown up without their grandmother, because she died at the age of 69 from complications of diabetes. Preventing a similar fate for their children is a very strong why for me, and it helps me stay on track when my genetics are fighting me. Believe me, some days it is not easy at all, and I very much appreciate the community that helps me stay accountable.
What questions will you ask of yourself today, so you can build a strong why and make resolutions you can actually keep? I’d love to know.
Happy New Year!
