Sometimes we get caught up in our own expectations, and we need to be aware of what is actually important, and what we are just doing because we think we should.

As you probably know if you follow me on any social media, I am quite addicted to running outside in all but the most frightful of weathers. I think it’s important to move my body every day, but it’s even more important for my mental health to get out into the fresh air and see some nature around me. I’m blessed to live in a nice neighbourhood, right near the river, where I can run up a street with little traffic to a large and well-maintained park, with a city-maintained washroom where I can take my old lady pit stop. It’s amazing.

Because I am easily bored and like to mix things up, I use a 14-week 10K running app. Not that I’ll ever make it to 10K – in the longest parts of the program I make it to about 7.5K, and that’s plenty for me. When the app is finished, I go back to week 9 (it incorporates a couch to 5K program as well), and start again. It’s fun.

Here’s the thing, though. Some parts of the program are quite lengthy – sometimes over an hour, with all the running and walking intervals. I don’t always have that kind of time, and sometimes I’m just feeling fatigued and not up to running for so long.

When that happens, I skip parts of the program. I might run for 30 or 35 minutes, and then skip straight to the cooldown. If you’ve ever noticed that my screenshot of the program before I start off doesn’t match the screenshot of the map of what I did, that’s what happened.

I used to feel guilty about this. After all, shouldn’t I have standards and do what I said I would do, even if nobody else actually cares how long I run? Isn’t there something morally deficient in shortening my run because I’m too busy or tired to do the whole thing? If I’m committed to getting 10000 steps a day, am I a bad person if I tap out at 8000 or so?

I’ve been reading a few books about disability justice, which I’ll be happy to share with anyone who asks. It has really changed the way I think about adaptation and accessibility. I am not, at the moment, particularly disabled, since my autoimmune issues are mostly under control and all my joints are working, but the truth is that all of us are one accident or illness away from disability. So it’s important to be aware of our own internalised ableism, as well as that of society around us. 

Yes, it’s important to have goals and to do our best to reach them, but some days, it is just not going to work, and that is generally a sign that we need to dial things back. We can’t go at 100 miles an hour all the time and not expect burnout or other damage.

So let me repeat this more loudly for the people in the back. IT IS OK TO ADJUST TO YOUR NEEDS. Shorten the run. Take a break. Stop early for the day and watch something mindless. Hang out with friends or family. Pet a kitty.

You are worth it, and you deserve it. Don’t forget that.