It’s funny how sometimes the same phrase or concept will keep popping up, insistently demanding our attention. This past week has been all about trees – not surprisingly, as you are receiving this missive during the week of Tu B’Shvat, the Jewish minor holiday known as the New Year of the Trees. In Israel, almond trees are flowering everywhere. Here in Winnipeg, the children sing songs about flowering almond trees as they create paper blossoms, while outside everything is still shrouded in snow. The wintry landscape has its own beauty, especially when the sky is bright blue, but there is no blossom to be seen anywhere, just yet.
Thinking of trees leads me to thinking about their vast root systems – an arborist told me just the other day that the big trees in my yard have roots that stretch halfway to the street. It’s what keeps those trees solidly in place, not only nourishing them but also anchoring them. Ents aside, trees don’t move.
Our minds, however, are a whole different story. They never keep still, it would appear. Thoughts, judgements, memories, plans, snatches of old songs, they just keep flitting by even when we are trying to focus or meditate. Very different from trees, one would think.
One thing that trees and minds have in common, though, is the ability to start fresh – whether it’s by growing bright young leaves and blossoms, or that mysterious state called The Beginner’s Mind, as described in the book “Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind” by Shunryu Suzuki, a Zen Buddhist master. You have probably heard one of his most famous quotes: “In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few.”
When we find ourselves bogged down in thoughts, judgements, frustrations, anxieties and feelings that just won’t let us move forward, it can be helpful to stop and take a few deep breaths. Box breathing is great for calming anxiety – breathe in for 4 to 6 counts, hold for the same count, exhale for the same count, hold for the same count, and repeat. This breathing pattern actually helps activate your parasympathetic nervous system and calm your “fight or flight” response.
Once you feel calmer, try looking at your situation with a wider lens – don’t assume you know all the answers, imagine that you are a complete newcomer trying to understand what is going on. If your feelings start welling up, don’t try to stop them – let them pass through you, feel the rage or grief or fear, and then they will pass. Just keep breathing. It’s not necessary to try and get to the root or cause of how you feel – just acknowledge the feeling, and let it pass. Feelings don’t last, although they may recur.
Two of my favourite writers, Marianne Williamson and Gabby Bernstein, talk about viewing situations and relationships with fresh eyes – I believe that this concept pops up in many different cultures. If you can let go of the need to be right, who knows where you might end up? Possibly happier. It’s worth a try.
I’d love to know what you think of this idea – what has your experience been with looking at situations with fresh eyes and a beginner’s mind?