As I write this post, it’s late at night and I’m sitting in an airplane on my way home from an incredible conference in Phoenix, AZ. 

Of course it was very nice to be in Phoenix in January, although it wasn’t as warm as you might expect, and even rained. I learned a lot of things at the conference, and enjoyed some good food and a real margarita. All good things.

The real reason, however, that I keep going to these conferences is the chance to meet with my team members whom I otherwise only see on a computer screen. We work hard at creating a community feeling that will last us through the months until we see each other again at the next event.

So what is it about community that keeps people coming back?

We humans are tribal beings – in the second chapter of Genesis, at the very beginning of the Bible, we are told that it is not good for a human to be alone. The United Nations has declared solitary confinement to be a form of torture. We need each other’s company and validation, but it’s not enough just to be with random people whom we don’t know – we want to form a tribe, a community. We seek kinship – either by birth or by choice.

Loneliness is one of the big problems in today’s individualised society – we seem to be connected to the world through our screens all day, every day, but in fact many of us are lacking in basic human interaction. This is true not only of shut-ins or isolated seniors, but of young people who seem to be texting all the time. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among Millennials.

Young people are more mobile than ever before and change jobs every few years, thereby disconnecting from some traditional sources of community. Another source, mainstream religious institutions, is also losing relevance for many young people.

There are many online communities that attempt to fill the void, and indeed I am myself part of several online groups with people who are important to me. As the group matures, however, eventually members want to meet in person, to solidify that connection – disembodied text on a Discord chat or even a voice and face on Zoom are just not enough.

We want to hug, and that is why there are conferences and meetups and other ways for co-workers and teammates to meet in person – even though it might seem more efficient, and certainly more cost-effective, just to work together online.

Are you looking for a community that will fill your heart and help you feel loved and validated? The fastest route to happiness in life goes through serving others – so find a cause that tugs at your heart and look for opportunities to serve in person. Volunteers are the best people in the world, and usually the happiest to be around as well. You will never regret the time you spend helping others.

P.S. If you are looking for a tribe of women who are on a wellness journey together, I am excited to offer you a spot in the one that I am currently building. Reach out to me and I will be thrilled to tell you all about it!