TRIGGER WARNING: death of a child.

I recently heard a story that made me cry, and I’d like to share it with you. If you are a parent, you will also cry, but please bear with me.

In this story, which I heard from Ray Higdon, a couple had a young son who was fond of banging the screen door on their porch. Naturally, they would yell at him to stop it – as most of us would if we found it annoying.

Tragically, this child died from cancer – and the parents found themselves standing on the porch, banging the screen door, because they would have given anything to hear that annoying sound from their son again.

It’s probably not an exaggeration to say that every one of us has something about our loved ones that annoys us. Maybe your child bangs the door or plays loud music when you are trying to work. Maybe your spouse plays the piano when you are trying to sleep. Maybe some of your family members leave dishes in the sink, no matter how many times you tell them to put them in the dishwasher. When humans share a space, there is plenty of scope for minor irritations.

But what if you were confronted with never hearing that noise again? What if there was nobody in the house to leave dishes in the sink? What if the piano fell silent forever? What if your child never banged the screen door again?

The purpose of this exercise is not to depress you, but to give you the opportunity to experience what Ray calls ultimate gratitude – realising that we are so fortunate to have our loved ones, irritating behaviours and all.

Children grow up and leave – one hopes they will come back and visit, but it will never be the same. Life is uncertain, and we can never know what tomorrow will bring.

Hug your loved ones while you have them, and be grateful even for the behaviours that drive you nuts. That is indeed ultimate gratitude.