The Oxford dictionary defines community as follows: 

com·mu·ni·ty

/kəˈmyo͞onədē/

Noun

1. a group of people living in the same place or having a particular characteristic in common.
   “the scientific community”
2. a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.
   “the sense of community that organized religion can provide”

Humans are tribal animals – we have a deep-rooted need to be with others, even those of us who need and enjoy time alone. How we find those others, however, varies greatly – the accidental community, if you will, described in the first definition, will not always give rise to the feeling described in the second definition. It’s important to choose our communities with care.

We are born into some communities – biological kinship, maybe a religion or ethnicity, a geographical proximity. I live in a city where it gets very cold and snowy in the winter. The community of Winnipeggers consists of those who are able to endure and even enjoy those conditions. We have shared experiences and memories related to the place we live. I was not born here, but my children were – I chose this community, they get to choose whether to stay here or not. Birth communities may be warm and supportive, or they may be cold and rejecting of those who are different. Some people stay within those communities their entire lives, others strike out in search of something that suits them better.

Some communities are only for a season of our lives – a school or university, for ourselves and for our children. Some communities exist online and can span the globe, others are just a residential block or a neighbourhood. The scientific community referenced in the first definition consists of people who have chosen a certain profession and may otherwise have little in common. The same could be true of the arts community or the non-profit community, or members of any kind of team. People are sometimes upset to discover that their colleagues do not necessarily share the same values, just because they chose the same career.

How we choose our communities will largely determine the quality of our lives – no person is an island, after all. Many of our communities are accidents of birth or of life choices we thought were only about us or our immediate families. It’s important to be aware of this, and try to avoid assumptions that may not necessarily apply to everyone in the community.

I’d love to know what you think – how do you choose your communities? What qualities of a community are important to you?