If you follow me on any social media, you have probably heard or seen me whining about how long it’s taking for me to recover from this bout of COVID that hit me a month ago, already! It’s enough! Where do I find the patience??? <insert whining>

I even made a video with those exact words and didn’t post it because I already knew that it was not something I wanted to share with the world. We all get whiny sometimes, especially when we aren’t feeling as great as we would like, but there are still better ways to deal with it than spreading negativity and misery in the world.

I should hasten to add here that I’m not advocating for toxic positivity. It’s important to feel all of your feelings, good and bad. Pretending the bad feelings don’t exist is definitely the way to make them fester. Stop, feel your feelings, let them go through you. It’s amazing how we don’t die from bad feelings, even though we think we might. Despair, anger, impatience, fear that I’ll never get better, that I’ll never do a long run or lift a heavy weight again. I felt all of those, and it was not fun to articulate them and feel them, especially the fear. But they didn’t kill me.

So what’s next? Looking for thoughts that will help me feel better and move forward with my healing. I can’t go from zero to running for an hour like I used to (all of a month ago!), but I can get started with walks and little runs. I can go to the gym and lift light weights, while being kind to myself and paying attention to how I feel, and stopping when I need to, even if I don’t want to. It’s the only way to get back to activity without causing setbacks in my recovery.

Most importantly, it’s enough with the petulant I-don’t-wanna-go-to-bed nonsense. Healing happens mostly during sleep. While I was in the acute phase of the illness I slept over 8 hours a night. Now that I’m back trying to catch up on my work, I’m lucky to get between 6 and 7. The reason is not that I’m getting up too early, although I have moved my alarm back 25 minutes from where it was before. It’s that I’m going to bed too late, and getting into the sugary stuff late at night. By getting enough sleep, I’ll be able to move away from the I-feel-sorry-for-myself-diet, and become mindful of what I’m eating and not eating. I know that being tired leads directly to snacking. Does that sound familiar? 

I’m sharing this with you because I want to show you how to do this without beating yourself up. I sometimes fall into the trap of being mean to myself because I don’t act in my own best interest, but to be honest, those nasty internal words never lead me to doing the right thing. If anything, my inner toddler becomes even more sullen and rebellious. Wouldn’t you?

I’d love it if you would help me with loving accountability – if you see me on social media after 9 pm Central time, please give me a gentle reminder that I love myself enough to turn it all off and go to bed. If you’d like me to do the same for you, let me know!