I have some bad habits – I’m sure you do too. We all do. Some bad habits can be life-threatening – such as drinking to excess, unprotected sex or sharing needles. Others are mostly just frustrating, although they can have longer-term health ramifications – uncontrolled eating, lack of sleep and too much sitting. I am privileged enough that my bad habits are mostly of the latter variety, thankfully. Still, they are not great to have, and have proven remarkably hard to break. 

I find that two of my most frustrating bad habits are related – staying up too late and eating at night. My brain translates the weariness of my body into a craving for sugar, which then wakes me up and makes it hard to get to sleep, so I stay up too late, which makes me crave sugar, which … you get the idea.

You’d think, since I am clearly aware of what is going on, that it would not be too hard to put myself to bed, like a toddler. But anyone who has tried to put a real tired-and-wired toddler to bed knows only too well how hard that is. They will keep popping up, and if you are really lucky, they will scream their heads off, too. Remaining patient, loving but firm with a toddler in that state can be a real test for a parent, and it’s no different if the toddler in question is inside your head.

Of course, again like a real toddler (or any other human), all they really want is to feel better – and somewhere along the way, my toddler seems to have learned that food is a great way to achieve that. Thirty years ago, I dealt with that oral fixation by smoking, but that is not a bad habit I would want to pick up again. How can we change our state and feel better without getting into other bad habits?

Experts suggest the same kind of redirection you might offer a toddler – try to understand the trigger for the behaviour, avoid it if possible, and if it is unavoidable, try to distract your toddler with something else. If, like me, you make a nice cup of herbal tea to help you sleep, then spend way too long scrolling social media and raiding the pantry while you drink it, try taking your drink out of the kitchen for a change of scenery. Get off your phone and read a book before bed. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to a real toddler – it’s not their fault, and it’s not yours, either. Slip-ups and tantrums will happen. Just keep going.

What are your favourite ways to work on bad habits? I’d love to know!

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