It’s February, the month of love! Everywhere you turn, you see hearts, chocolates, and lots of advice about how to maintain a good relationship with your loved ones. I’ve written some of that myself in this space over the years.

This year, though, I want to talk about the most important relationship you will ever have – with yourself.

You spend 24 hours a day with yourself, you constantly talk with yourself, and you are probably, if you are like most people, inclined to treat yourself quite harshly and put yourself at the bottom of your priority list. Maybe you’ve been taught that loving yourself is selfish and self-centred. Here’s why that might not be the case.

Have you ever tried to pour from an empty cup? You won’t get much out of it. If you are trying to give love and support to all around you, but you aren’t taking care of your own needs, you will end up as empty and exhausted as that cup. How will that help the ones you love?

It’s become a cliché, but every airplane flight begins with a safety demonstration, including the famous “please adjust your own mask before assisting another person”. If, heaven forfend, there is a need for oxygen masks on the plane, you have to make sure you aren’t going to pass out and be a hindrance rather than a help to others, especially if you are responsible for a child or a disabled person. They tell you to put on your own mask first. 

In everyday life, that might translate into making sure you get to the gym or have some quiet time with a book and a cup of tea, despite the demands of those around you. Carving out those boundaries may require a period of adjustment for all involved, including you, but it is worth it.

If you treat yourself with love and respect, you will have the resources to treat others in the same way. If you judge yourself harshly, chances are you are a harsh judge of those around you, as well. If you are empty inside, can you truly love others, without requiring anything from them in return?

The secret to selfless love lies in loving yourself first. Only then will you be able to give to those around you without exhausting yourself. Give it a try.

P.S. If you are local to me, come visit me for my next event on Wednesday, February 26, 7 – 8:30 pm, at GetAssist Networking Centre, 236 Osborne Street South #3, Winnipeg. We’re going to talk about self-care, and how to make it easier to stick to it, despite our busy lifestyles.