Today I did something I’ve never done before. That’s why there is no pretty Flickr picture on this post. I brought up Movie Maker on my computer (did I even know I had it?) and made a video of me talking into the webcam. Sitting outside on my deck, no proper background, not well centred, not edited, not a good video at all. But an important video.

Why did I make a video? Because my Isagenix team leader, Erin Postle, made a video in one or two of our Facebook groups, challenging us to create an affirmation of an important goal and say it to ourselves out loud, in the mirror. That’s a pretty scary thing to do, if you take it seriously, so I decided I’d go one better than the mirror and tell the world.

For almost thirty years I have had the convenient excuse of an auto-immune disease to avoid living up to my potential. It started when I was in university, when my gut realised I was on my way to the wrong career. My brain, however, did not catch up until many years later. So rather than quit, I got sick.

The same thing happened all along the way. I have so much potential, I am the poster girl for unrealised potential. I have degrees up the wazoo, because I am very good at learning things. But when it came to doing the things that I had learned, rather than face the fear, I got sick.

Now I have decided not to hide behind illness anymore. Of course I can’t make it just disappear by an act of will, but I can take stock of the sabotaging behaviours (staying up late, eating foods I KNOW are not good for me) and stop doing them. I can make sure my nutrition, hydration and exercise are appropriate and health-affirming, not punishing or crazy-making. I can support my wondrous body as it heals itself.

Nobody knows the cause or cure of auto-immune disease. All my doctor has to offer is immuno-suppressants and low-dose chemotherapy. So why not try this way?

So here is the video. Please be kind, I’ve never used Movie Maker before. But I’m hoping you will like it anyway. Tell me what you think!