It’s Elul again!
Right now I am desperately searching for someone to lead Shacharit (the morning service) the second day of Rosh Hashanah. That’s what’s really weighing on me right now.
Of course, it is all Mr. Berger’s fault. Our nonagenarian Torah reader was supposed to read both days of Rosh HaShanah and then pass the baton to me for Yom Kippur. But alas, his health is not what it was, and so he’s only reading the first day.
If he were to read the second day like he was supposed to, I’d be free to lead Shacharit that day, although it would be a pretty long day with me doing Musaf (the additional service) as well.
But I can’t, because I have to be upstairs reading Torah, and that is a prior obligation that I will not be getting out of. I am overcommitted, and this is where the search comes in. We (all Jewish communities, not just my little corner) just don’t have enough people who can do things, leading services, calling people up to the Torah, handing out honours, just generally making sure things run smoothly. It is a constant struggle to educate enough people who are all overcommitted, and sometimes have to make hard choices about their availability to various volunteer organisations.
What else am I searching for? The right trope (cantillation) to read Torah for the High Holy Days, although I think I may have found it on a university website in Texas.
I am searching for structure and organisation in my life, because I’ve overcommitted myself to too many things, and always, always, my religious obligations and my family must come first.
What are you searching for?