Starting new things is fun and exciting, full of possibility. Finishing a project is satisfying. The problem, with most things, is the messy middle.

I recently had a conversation with a friend, who currently has very short hair. Her Zoom profile picture showed her with long, flowing locks, and she spoke wistfully about maybe growing her hair out like that again. As someone who spent the early pandemic years growing my hair out, I could feel her dread at the messy middle, the part where you are no longer at the beginning but are not yet at the end. Hair, projects, businesses, careers, lives, everything is harder in the messy middle.

And yet, if we want to get from the exciting beginning to the satisfying end, how else can we achieve the journey, regardless of what we are trying to do? People spend lots of time, money and effort trying to find shortcuts and hacks – anything to avoid the hard work of the messy middle. Sadly, those rarely work. They can make our journey through a little easier, but they can’t get us from A to Z without going through the rest of the alphabet. It just doesn’t work like that. To quote Robert Frost, the best way out is through.

So how do we keep going, when the original enthusiasm and excitement have ebbed, but the end is not yet in sight? I believe that the important thing to remember is why we started this journey in the first place. What is it that we thought doing this would achieve? Is it worth the trouble? 

Sometimes the honest answer is no. There’s no shame in concluding that we made a mistake, that this is too hard for what we think we will get out of it. It’s OK to turn around and climb back down the diving board ladder. Trust me, I’ve done it and lived to tell the tale.

But if we truly want whatever is on the other side of that messy middle, whether it’s long locks or a degree, or a flourishing business, then we need to dig a little deeper and carry on when it’s not fun, when it’s boring or annoying. Maybe write out that Robert Frost quote and stick it up over our desk. Whatever it takes to get through the messy middle, to keep going until we have achieved our goal. Looking back is going to be so sweet.

I’d love to know what your best messy middle-conquering techniques are. Drop me a message and let me know!